In the Mind of a Procrastinator

Panic! Panic! Panic! That’s what happens on the last day. The pressure mounts like a tidal wave crashing down on you, and your heart races as you realize how little time is left to finish your work.

Once, I had to write a ninety-page project. An extensive research project that normally takes six months to complete. The "perfect plan" seemed simple: write twenty pages in the first two months, thirty pages in the next two, and wrap it all up in the final two with forty pages. Easy, right?

But as the first two months slipped by unnoticed (I *was* busy watching Netflix, okay?), my plan gradually shifted. Suddenly, I was going to write forty pages in months three and four, and fifty pages in the last two months. But then, out of nowhere, it was down to ninety pages in the final two weeks. And then—*surprise*—it was ninety pages in the LAST THREE DAYS.

So, what did I do? I dove into the work like a person drowning, with a desperate sprint to the finish. I didn’t sleep for 72 hours straight, living on nothing but coffee and panic. Two all-nighters later, I somehow managed to submit the thesis just moments before the deadline.

But... spoiler alert: the thesis was terrible. It was like reading a research paper written by a sleep-deprived robot who had no idea what it was doing. I ended up with a grade that was far from “best thesis among all.” More like, “Nice try... maybe next time?”

Now, imagine the mind of a procrastinator as a ship battling rough seas. The rational decision-maker is the captain, trying desperately to steer the ship towards success. But lurking around the corner is the *instant gratification monkey*, a tiny, mischievous creature who never, ever wants to work.

Whenever the captain says, “Let’s get some work done!” the monkey smirks and says, “Nah, it’s the perfect time to scroll through Instagram Reels.” And just like that, the ship goes off course, sailing away from productivity. The monkey is always distracting, pulling you away from work with its endless offers of “fun” distractions. The worst part? The monkey is usually stronger than the rational decision-maker, especially when there’s a couch and snacks involved.

But then, when the deadline looms and you’ve *really* run out of time, something magical happens: the *Panic Monster* awakens. This beast comes with a side effect: stress. Lots and lots of stress. But it’s also surprisingly effective. The Panic Monster is the only thing that can make you work at the speed of light to meet the deadline.

But let’s be real, you don’t want to rely on the Panic Monster to do all the work. No one enjoys living in that chaos. So, how can we beat the monkey? Simple: strengthen the rational decision-maker. Think of it like signing him up for a brain gym membership. Get him working out with logic and focus, so he can defeat the monkey *before* the Panic Monster has to step in.

In the end, it’s all about taking the side of your rational brain, the one that actually wants to succeed, instead of letting the monkey win every time. The rational decision-maker is the captain of the ship, and it’s time to put him in charge of steering it towards calmer waters.

So, next time the monkey says, "How about another YouTube video?" just remind yourself: you’re the captain now. Grab the wheel and steer the ship towards productivity—before the Panic Monster decides to crash the party again.